does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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