I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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