I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize