i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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