My nipple is on Facebook.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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