I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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