Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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