dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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