That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So squirting runs in the family.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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