Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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