Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize