she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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