He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize