Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night

  (631): View more from New York

  U should. Its a good ice breaker

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  (740): Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night (631): U should. Its a good ice breaker http://tfl.nu/6sdf
  Replies (10) Good night (3510) Bad night (599)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I see a marketing opportunity

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  (703): I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off! (1-703): I see a marketing opportunity http://tfl.nu/gn9o
  Replies (61) Good night (4430) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

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  (202): Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion (202): He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction http://tfl.nu/lcwv
  Replies (58) Good night (642) Bad night (5183)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs

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  (702): What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs http://tfl.nu/q2ol
  Replies (15) Good night (3633) Bad night (1520) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'

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  (902): Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp' http://tfl.nu/0a7v
  Replies (8) Good night (1121) Bad night (3671) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub

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  (616): someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/yova
  Replies (1) Good night (1663) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.

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  (510): It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello. http://tfl.nu/um1l
  Replies (4) Good night (2100) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..

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  (520): He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car.. http://tfl.nu/pywi
  Replies (14) Good night (2593) Bad night (1047) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone

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  (641): Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone http://tfl.nu/y7a4
  Replies (10) Good night (1332) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school

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  (912): It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school http://tfl.nu/xr6r
  Replies (9) Good night (762) Bad night (1766) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.

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  (845): Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible. http://tfl.nu/r0ag
  Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.

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  (303): Get a piano. I want to have sex on it. http://tfl.nu/t29o
  Replies (19) Good night (1991) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.

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  (347): I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/c9pc
  Replies (4) Good night (522) Bad night (207)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.

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  (937): They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed. http://tfl.nu/xvv6
  Replies (16) Good night (869) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm trying to hide in the table.

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  (973): You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man. (201): I'm trying to hide in the table. http://tfl.nu/7531
  Replies (1) Good night (274) Bad night (156)

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