Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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