So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
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Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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