Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize