im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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