I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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