if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize