i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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