you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize