she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize