it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
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Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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