I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize