Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize