Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish i was in the wii world.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize