I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize