I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize