Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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