you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
His nipple licking is glorious
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