I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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