you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm too high and old for this...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize