i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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