Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
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Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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