I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize