It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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