i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
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An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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