Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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