i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize