I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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