I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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