Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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