This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize