Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize