I smell stomach acid.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I smell like Dick and happiness
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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