with your own penis?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
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consequently i now know what mace tastes like
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
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Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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