good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize