I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize