So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize